Tears

It just never stop for the last few days.

It's reserved for myself, my husband, God and within my room.

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Broke the news. It flows uncontrollably from everyone's eyes, including mine.

But what I heard warmed my heart greatly.

"In this place, I don't have to be somebody else."

"I don't have to be afraid of who I am and what I can say."

"I am always very proud of my leader. I go around telling people my leader is Yvonne. I know I am in good hands."

"I changed a lot and grew a lot here."

"From just attending CG as just another routine, to really enjoy one another here and looking forward for one another's fellowship."

There is just so many of those heartfelt words from these boys. It's the most moving sight to see all the guys tearing and saying the good and bad of the CG.

Even a new friend was very moved and challenged to want to do smthg for the CG in these last 9 weeks.

I know all of us are so heartbroken to know that we are supposed to disband by Dec if we dun multiply.

I know I have done what I felt I needed to do with these boys' lives. Now it's up to them to fight for one another. It's a tough fight. Half of them are having O levels. But I feel the determination in their hearts as they prayed for the CG. 

They have grown up. I have done what God has placed in my heart to do with them. It is enough. Just not enough for my own.

Birthday Scapbook from N262

The bunch of guys and 1 gal did this for me. Very touched by it.

Back to continue blog (random)

Haha. I think I must be reali "wu liao". Anyway, I am feeling ok. Just that recently I have alot of dizzy spells and super-tired-but-cant-sleep nights. But i am fine. :) Dun worry guys. :D

O ya. I just borrowed a book, "My Sister's Keeper" by Jodi Picoult, from my member!! So excited abt it. I shared abt my read on "P.S. I Love You" previously. BTW, I did finish it by the time Vic came back from Taiwan. My first book after... say 15yrs?? Ha. I reali thk so leh. Ok la, that's not including the many Christian books that I have read in the last 15yrs. Ha. So I am going to try reading this book.

And yes. I wanna say this... I was just whining abt how Vic said a STRONG "NO" when I wanted to eat chicken wing on Tue night while the ldrs were having supper together. I was like "Hmp! What's the big deal... Chicken wing only ma. Oso must be so worked up meh." And I was even whining abt it before we slept that night. HAHA. Then today (Thu), Vic bought chicken wing for me, without me asking for it. O so sweet... And just to mention oso, that he went downstair to pick me up when I was reaching home on Wed night after BS class duty. So nice... Hee. But I guess after we have children many of this would change. For a split second, I felt that having no child is probably quite nice. Er. But I still want to have children QUICKLY... :)

Have just been really frustrated recently. Frustrated abt today's CGM. Too tired so lost of thoughts from Praise to Worship to Sermon to altar call. Just dunno why the words are all jumbled up when i spoke. HAIZ..................... Tomorrow is another CGM. I hope will breakthrough. But I'm glad to be able to have a short fellowship with Nicholas Ng and Adam before the CGM. I thk that alone is a good time of establishing something in the spirit. So PTL! :)

Oooo... 3am oreadi. I am tired. Reali tired. I must quickly go and fall asleep. And wake up to a new morning, a new day. God is good.

Busy busy busy

Haven blog for a long while... Busy busy busy. And of cos, i was too tired to organise my tots in words everyday.

Now, doing BS class duty. Slacking. And I hope the internet connection dun fail me when I try to upload this blog. Tired man.

Last one month, has been an interesting month. Organising my tots and life to a whole new level. But one thing remain strongly within my heart. It's still my first and foremost desire to serve God full-time.

And I am reali trying to live out what I have been learning thru the wkly sermons in CG and SVC. I wanna be able to be successful in a business and yet serve God full-time. There is a deep desire within my heart for something, but I've never shared it with anyone. I'm just waiting and preparing myself for the right time. And today, i did smthg in relation to that matter. I feel so happy. Where my treasure is, there my heart will oso be. I hope that my love and passion will grow stronger and stronger for it.

Yestrdy, we had a good CGM. But i did badly in the P&W. I thk i was too distracted playing the guitar. I need more practice... Thank God for a CG that loves me and doesn't judge me based on one CGM itself.

I used to be so afraid that my members will 嫌弃我 or the CG for a "imperfect" CGM. But then later, i realise that it's reali the relationship that counts and not the "performance" of the CGL. People reali want to knw how much you care and not how much you knw.

To thk that one day, these bunch of boys are going to grow up, get attached to the gal of their dreams, and ultimately walking down the aisles in marriage, make me feel like a mother that will potentially be in tears of joy for them. Haha. This is so funny.

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Obviously, the internet connection has failed me. So I am continuing with the entry now. :)

The Church Service today was awesome. Bel led in both praise and worship. We sang an old worship song. It was so so good. Felt a longing and yearning in the spirit that draws closer to God. Sometimes, we dun need songs that are so "flowery". And Pst Tan preached a very good msg on Jesus' DNA. Will post the sermon somewhere again.

I just want to make mention something. On Thu, I was staying slightly later in the office. And then I was startled by a voice "Yvonne! You are here!" I looked up and it was Bel. And she looks elated and continued, "Do you have Getting Started Lesson 2 student notes?" I replied in curiosity, "Why you want that for?" "Give BS to someone. But she doesn't have the book." She replied. I said almost in amazement, "You give BS?!" And now she was even more bewildered, "I can't give BS meh?" HAhaha... 

Well, I didn't mean she can't give BS. I actually meant, "you give BS to who? I tot you are in ministry group and there shouldn't be any chance for you to give BS?" Anyway, I didn't explain myself, cos I was already brought away into deep tots.

I remembered that I told someone this before... "Look at Bel. She rose to her calling not bcos she was just focused on ONLY wanting to serve God in her singing talents. The most impt thing is she is revolving herself ard pp and loving pp. She was a CGL and doing pastoral work. Even after she went and focused on the worship team, she always take interest in pp, trying to inspire them and helping them. If you can't touch lives, your talents are basically useless..." 

When I knw that even till today, Bel is still taking interest in pp, i felt so moved in my heart. Aren't we all in this for people? Reali, if we are not touching lives, our talents are useless in God's Kingdom. Today's worship was awesome. Truly, if you want to touch lives with ur talents, you got to be touching pp individually first and then God's anointing will be upon you to touch pp corporately.

Went to jog this morning!!

The sky is so beautiful today. Feels good just by walking to Bishan Park and seeing this.

There begins my jog... But today, I only ran 400m in 2-3min and then for the rest of the 2.9km i was doing brisk walking. Cos i was having chest pain even before the run. So I guess I shouldn't take that risk. In fact, after the 400m run, i was feeling rather unwell. Still, i managed to finish walking. HA. And it feels good! Was SOooo hungry after that.

And Vic was perspiring like nobody's business. He was totally DRENCHED in his sweat.

That was the sweat left after walking from Bishan Park to our house. If he would let me take a photo of him, you would see how DRENCHED he was. He was totally WET including his top and shorts dripping with sweat. And it continued till i finished bathing and he was still dripping with sweat. HAHA.

This pic view looks like a good scene for "gu zhuang xi". 

Haha. ok. enough of my running.

Timothy, Adam, NIcholas, Cin and I went to Swenson after our dinner at PastaMania. O where is Tim in the pic?! Dair... the plate of Swenson Earthquake. Haha. He just decided to shrink his head backward and ta-da... he disappeared from the pic. Haiz.

Today is Good Friday

Spent the whole day in the Carnival at Expo Hall 2 doing duty. Sat there from 2pm to almost 10pm. Boy, it was tiring.

Spectacle Hut has a booth there. I bought 1 box of daily contact lens and got 1 box free. $38 per box. And the color contact lens are only going at $28 per box and you get 1 box free for every box bought. I reali loogie.. I just bought 2 boxes of color lens at Spectacle Hut yestrdy. Tsk tsk tsk. O I muz say, i wore the brown lens today. Vic says I looked WEIRD. Haiz. But I love it. HEE.

And I muz mention that my VAIN HUBBY has finally bought the long-and-always-talked-about dark-colored specs. He was so excited that he immediately called his bro to "xuan yao" his latest possession. Lixia was quite amused by Vic's vanity... Haha.

Wo ye bu gan shi rou. I am VAIN too! (Photo taken in the toilet. HEE.)

Well, besides the few moments spent in vain-ness, the exciting thing is that Adam brought 2 friends, Brian and Nicholas, and Nicholas accepted Christ into his heart! PTL! And I pray that more will give their hearts to Jesus in the remainder SVCs.

  

Roy, Xiang, Wenling and I dine at this place, Ma Maison, at Bugis Junction. It has a nice ambience. A Japanese-French Restaurant (i thk so). Food is nice except for the item i ordered. Roy:"Just order whatever that is recommended. Very nice." Von:"But I want to eat chicken leh." Result:"Yours is nice. Yours is nice. Yours is nice. Except mine." Stubbornness. Haiz.

Ya. That's Escargot. I like chicken too much. I chickened out when this was finally brought before us. Sorry. I can't imagine swallowing SNAIL. Erks. I can still remember stepping onto one and the sound of it. YAKS!

 

But thanks for the fellowship and the treat!! :) You both are God's gifts to me. It's great honor to have you as my friends. God bless you both RICHLY!!

The week that just passed

 

 

 

 

That's Adam & Eugene. They lost in our CG games and ended up having to perform Indian Dance. But it ended up with Adam trying to do pole dancing until Eugene screamed:"I can't take it!!!" They were of such a good spot and we all had fun.

 

 

 

 

 

This weekend, F.I.R. came to perform. WOW! It was the first time I heard them sing live. They were good... I was especially so mesmerised by Ah Qing's voice. So nice... More than the nice performance, i thk the best thing is to know that they accepted Christ and their lives were being changed by God day by day. They knew very well they were not totally changed yet but they are trying their best to live their lives for God and to be changed by Him. So proud of them. Such sweetness in their spirit.

I had a bad backache. Dint sleep well the night before. Had a hard time trying to walk without feeling the pain. In the end, I still ended up fellowshipping with the CG at the Old Airport Rd hawker centre.

 

 

 

 

Took a secret shot of Adam & Tim eating by themselves at another table. Somehow the view was quite interesting to me. Hmm... Dunno how to describe it. :)

Pastor Kong preached on Servanthood. It was a very very good sermon. At the end of it, he gave an altar call for those that would say to God that if He were to call them one day into mission or full time, they will willingly say "YES Jesus". Jackie and Cinthia stood up for the prayer. Wow. I was very touched. It was about willingness not about if you were reali called. It was just about, Jesus IF you call me, I will FOLLOW.

It's not about prominence, not about recognition. I'm just contented that I can do my little to encourage people to serve God and especially in full time ministry.

Random Entry

Hooray! Singapore won the bid for YOG!!!

 

We had CG game. And it was the modified "action heart attack". These 3 boys really very cham. They are always the last few to follow the action. So they had many rubberbands on their head. They are so funny.

O! What's that?!! It's an angel???

 

 

 

 

 

No la... It's just me... After OPM, I slept for 4 hours and woke up to rebond my hair... Well, besides, Vic oso can't stand my curly oily hair. HAHA. So he purposely woke up at 10am to call the neighbourhood salon for me. And he got me to wake up and go do my hair. I was TIRED man... And obviously BORED...

The Final Product. :)

 

 

The family went out for dinner and thereafter a game of bowling and pool.

Everybody was so high and bragging about their skills... And boy, we had a good laugh when all the "long gang" balls happen... HEHE.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Choosing balls and discussing and teasing each other... Aiyo...

 

 

 

 

 

Went back to my parents' place. From the point we stepped into the house, Keighley cried non-stop. I thk Vic and I scare her. But she finally smiled at us... So sweet...

O I muz mention this.. I reali thk the way she smile and cry resembles my dad. HAHA.

 

 

 

 

 

 

After reading that Isaiah has the different cubes, I was determined to find out how to solve it man!!! So, today i solved the rubik's cube!!!!!!!!!!!!! MUahhhhhh!!!!!

CG CNY celebration - Feb 14, 2008

2007 Xmas in CHC

You do what you ought to

My day started with cramps... bad cramps... it lasted till about evening before the pain subsided by half. Maybe it's the medicine that's finally working.

Went to attend a funeral wake with the CG in the evening. Somewhere in the midst of the pastor's sharing, I felt a tinge of incompetency in my heart. Well, it wasn't what the pastor was sharing that made me feel this way. In fact, i was half-hibernating and not listening(oops!).... But I was feeling somehow down. And i tried to talked myself out of it... "Von, it's one of your cycles of feeling low again. Be cool. Dun take it too seriously." Haha.. That's what you become capable of after being a CGL for so long. Haha.

Anyway, my night didn't end with just myself encouraging myself. After the memorial svc, we sticked around for another hour. Laughing and joking. And seeing a gentle side of Tim playing with his baby cousin. The sight is so sweet. So charming... We had never seen that part of him. Tim seems to have grown up even more over the last 2 wks. Haha.

Then Dennis shared 2 testimonies with us. Very encouraging. At least, for me it's uplifting in the spirit. Then Kianyong also shared a testimony. Hearing all these and seeing that they have grown up and broken through so much, i suddenly felt encouraged in my spirit. It feels good.

We left the wake for the public transport back home. While waiting at the bus-stop, Jackie returned a book, Our Holy Calling (written by Ulf Ekman). I haven't read it since i bought it 2wks ago. I read the intro of the book while on the bus back.

It left an imprint: "Our calling is not about ourselves".

My position as a CGL is not about my calling. It's never about myself. It's about the people, the church and its calling.

When you are young, you do whatever you want and desire. But now that you are old...

Jed running after 'chauffeur'.mp4

This is Jed and his supposing "chauffeur". He did this like 3 times before I attempted to record it down... This little boy, Jed is so funny....

The last one wk

Finally, I can try to blog abt last one wk...

Last Sat, after service we fellowshipped at BK @ Expo. And the guys of the CG are so lame... It's hilarious especially when it comes from KY and Jed!!! Haha... You can try watching the short clip in the video section... :) (PS: The high pitch voice is mua... :B)

I was on MC last 2 days cos of sprained neck. The medication works. So "corrupted James" is not so corrupted actually. Maybe we should change his nickname to "angel james" or "healing James". Ha. I very random.

O but yestrdy Cin & I went to Xinhui's place. Xinhui's dog, name Happy, is so big liao. Er. I am not reali a lover of dog and totally freeze when Happy tried to get near me. Hee. Some photos...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

As you can see, I am not inside. I dun like animals... :B

Went home and then decided to do some jellies for the CG. Not alot but still I am very happy. I haven't tasted it. I hope it's ok. Quite happy I get to do something for the members.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Haven't been able to lead CGM for last 2-3 months liao. So I feel happier if I can do something for my members. Must be able to contribute ma. Love overflows and it is not supposed to be kept within only... I did this for my members last wk. The most creative thing I have done for my members, so far. Hehe. I will keep trying. :) (So pleased with myself. Haha)

So excited for CG today!!

Happy Birthday to ME!!!

 

Birthday wishes from N262

 

After much coordination and communication prob, the members celebrated my birthday for me together with Johnson's 3 CGs. Knowing that N262, the screaming and yelling came mostly from Johnson's 3 CGs... oops. But still i appreciated.

 

This is the Mango jacket from N262. I like it very much. Have been looking for a jacket for the longest time... Well, I wasn't ready to part with the money in my bank for an expensive jacket so that is why I didn't get any yet... Ha. So PTL my members bear to part with their money for me!! HEE HEE!!!!!!!

 

 

 

This is part of their birthday package for me. Hee.

 

 

After that, I headed for birthday celebration with Pst YK, Wenling and the subzone. We went to Waraku at East Parkway. Nice food. Quite friendly staff. Except for a blur king that brought the cake and asked right behind me "who's birthday?" And worse, got the birthday gal wrong by placing the cake in front of Sandra who's sitting beside me. HAHA. So hilarious.

 

This is an Aldo bag from the WL subzone. So nice... I'm so glad they bought it for me else I will never get a chance to buy a white bag cos Vic will say I will dirty it real fast. Haha...

 

 

 

This is a pair of novo flats. Also from WL subzone. Very nice. I like also!! Cos I was very fickle-minded about getting flats. I kept going to the shoe shops to look at the flats but didn't buy no matter how cheap it was. No particular reason. Just couldn't decide. Shilin muz be very led by the Spirit to buy it for me. HAHAH...

 

Talking about being led by the Spirit... See this pair of GORGEOUS ALDO HEELS?! They are present from Pst YK & Wenling. Aiyo... I went to Aldo many times looking at this pair of shoes... I love it but SO EXPENSIVE LA!!! So going Aldo to look at it sometimes is good enough. HAHA. Very kua zhang hor. I was a bit stunned and lost for words when I saw it just now. WOOHOO!!!! O so HAPPY!!!!!!

 

Dear dear bought a cake and gave me a surprise just now... It was lit secretly on top of the washing machine in the kitchen, blocked by the fridge by Andrew Wong Jianuan... They sang me birthday song. So sweet of them.

If you see it... There are 3 big candles... I am 30 yrs old already... Muahhhh!!! For very wonderful old and chio Von! HAHA.

 

That's a top, necklace & earrings from Vic. This is just the "yi si yi si" present before my real present comes in Oct. Haha... Yes... My LV small pouch. Actually, I not so particular about branded or not. It's just his way of loving me... So I better get used to it and LOVE it. This is so easy. HAHA...

 

 

 

 

Even though I'm tired and didn't really talk much today, I am very happy. Cos I got to talk to people and listen to them talk. Staying within 4 walls of a house is so torturing for me. I used to "fa pi qi" at Vic if he didn't bring me somewhere outside of the house on Monday, which is my off day. It's not like I purposely would "fa pi qi". It's just that I will feel very very moody for some strange unknown reason. So you can imagine how depressed I am having to be stucked in the house for so many days and weeks.

I am just HAPPY! Though I dun quite show it cos tired physically. Like my emotions slower to respond or show oso. Haha.

Thank you friends for celebrating my birthday with me!