I am tired. Tired of doing the same things for the last 9yrs. I admit that I reali grew alot and learnt alot in this 9yrs. I dislike admin but i'm glad I overcome that some yrs back and started to learn and breakthrough. Learnt different ways of looking at things, including conflicts/tension at work & emotions displayed by different ones. I have definitely grown wiser and calmer. Learnt that I need to find solutions instead of complaining. You solve that problem and then that's truly more impt than grumbling and achieving nothing. Well, that earned me the title "Excel Queen" among the ZSecs. Thanks, I gladly receive that compliment as a little pat on my shoulder for a long journey that waits ahead.
I need to move on. That's the tricky part. Move on to what? I am currently doing admin for 3 zones (YK, VIC, KS) which adds up to 1800 pp. I don't even hv time to even think abt how to improve things in the zone. Just keying in and submitting stuff. I dun like the feeling of being paid to do smthg that even a student can do. I need to thk and improve things. If things are not progressive, i feel frustrated. I don't need more zones and more work. I need more satisfaction. I wonder would anyone even bother to thk for me what kind of satisfaction i would hv doing all these for the last 9yrs. I need progression.
Once again at a juncture of decisions. I am tired. I hope i can sleep away the frustrations but I doubt so. Yet, I know I still desire to serve God here. It's still the greatest honor. Simple things like the feeling I get sitting there marking BS attendance and smiling at each one. Maybe I shld just sit in at the reception and try feeling close again to the people and not buried in stacks of papers and admin.
Directions, I pray. I need to move on. Progressions, I reali reali need.
