IMAGINE

Frankly, it's still affecting. I am just trying to minimize the effect on others, but not on me. It's affecting a lot and it's not like what others can do to make me feel better or to get over it. It's just hurting like crazy. Churning inside my stomach every now and then.

I need to get over it. I need to imagine something better. I am trying to but circumstances dun seem to give me the space to. It's not other pp's fault, it's just my own.

There are times when I just wanna blame it on those that seemingly try to be concerned and caused me to be in such a big mess. My mind's imagination criticizes and condemns me in all sorts of scenario over and over again. O how can I get over it?

IMAGINE. Just imagine the right things.

Eating now

Now that is rather surprising for many of my friends. The greeting sentence from my friends are usually, "hi, have u eaten your breakfast/lunch/dinner?". Quite obviously, cos I always miss my meals. Haha.

While I'm trying (yes, TRYING) to savor the food now, i'm also wondering how's the jog that my sister wanted to embark on just now. It's raining at AMK and she said she wants to jog to botanical garden from holland. Wooo... I wonder if she made it. And an evil imagination popped up.... She's probably drenched and WALKING her way back home with a totally disastrous experience of her jogging after so LOOOnngg. Keke.

She used to be a rather sporty person but now she's totally soaked in the competitive money world. Dun get me wrong. She's not that kind of money-minded, materialistic gal. But rather conversely, she blesses with a cheerful heart all the time and has a sweet side of her. Just that she's still as never-say-die person as her good old sporty dayz.

I hope this jog will get her back to that attractive personality and beautiful her without reservation. I never really appreciate her more than now that we are both grown up. And she's still single. For goodness, what happened to all the men?!

She's spiritual, yet had many things to talk about in other aspects. She's capable, diligent, sweet, tall, attractive. She's definitely not a boring person. Hello, gentlemen, what are you waiting for?

Anyway, just thought abt her and I simply think she deserves a good man. I know she must be feeling so weird that I am saying all these on my blog. Haha. Well, good "stuff" must share right.... Hee.

Stumped

当道歉已经没有用

我还能做什么

而在你转身的时候

我也消失无影

————

Thought of something... Vulnerability.

Those that had been through it with me, will know.

Suddenly, I'm just thrown into it. And I have no idea what's next.

Can I just reserve my rights to have my own emotions truthfully?

_______

IMAGINE.

"L wee" bag

WOW!!! Vic gave to me for my birthday!! A gift that came late cos he got a friend to get it for him from Europe cos it's cheaper. Haha.

But my first day carrying it, I was abusing it slightly. I threw a lot of stuff inside and the bag was very heavy. Oops.

Anyway, just wanna thank my hubby for the gift. Love it. Though I wish I can use it more often but that would mean i will abuse it more often. HAHA. Thanks, dear. 

Cracking

I am cracking man!!! My brain is cracking..............So intense and stress out today. 

Cried for very long yesterday night till I read a verse that says:

With all my might I shout up to God, 

His answers thunder from the holy mountain.

I stretch myself out. I sleep. 

Then I'm up again - rested, tall and steady, 

fearless before the enemy mobs coming at me 

from all sides. 

Ps 3:4-6 (MSG)

Then I slept on my bed with tissues all around and the bible laying open. When I woke up, Vic was bewildered that I slept while he was waiting for me to finish praying. HAHA. But God is good. I went back to sleep, woke up in the morning and took a bus to work. Feel so happy just over this. hehe.

But I thk I was so intense and stress that I teared when Vic said something that reali make me feel so lousy. He didn't purposely say it to make me feel lousy. It's just that I was already feeling so stress and intense that I couldn't stand another weight that comes especially from someone that I love so much. Anyway, that only affected me for say 5min? haha.. I actually told myself I didn't have time to cry ok. RUSHING the work like nobody's business man.................. 

Kless asked why I feel so stress doing the multiplication. I dunno how to explain. How do I produce 13 disbandment and multiplication when was told to produce it at 6pm yesterday? I was up to my brow. Or like Wenkai says, he's oreadi burning his brow. WOoshh...

My neck ache. My brain is cracking. Went CG. Did my forecast. Now gotta do the actual disbanding and multiplying in the CMS. I wanna faint. How long will that take man? Faint......................................................... Will that work as an excuse for not doing it by 12pm tmr? Hmmmm... I seriously think I can faint any moment. KEKE.....

Btw, I tot it was rather weird for me to meet 2 gigantic tall pp today!! I took a bus to work, then while heading toward Suntec, this guy walking in front of me was SOoooOOOooo TALL. I mean I was barely reaching his armpit, for goodness! My eyes run him up and down, I almost thought he was walking on stilts!!! Then when I was in a rush to CG, I met another guy that is also soooooo TALL, I was at most at his shoulder level. Both guys are chinese!! Since when, Singapore guys are that tall??? Or maybe just the ones around me are so short. HAHA!

Ok. Enough of blogging. Gotta bathe and do my work again!! I am beginning to believe that I am growing hands and brains to handle all these. Wooshh... ;p

 

Bored

I'm just very bored at this moment. 

Chatted on MSN. Checked the facebook. Checked the blogs. 

There seems to be a lot of things not done but I have no mood to get down to do it.

Lost appetite for food. A few pp told me I lost weight. I think I reali did. But it's probably only at max 1kg?! Does that really make such a difference visually. Haha.

I just have no appetite to eat and I actually forced myself to get those food into my mouth. Erks. I feel like vomiting just to think of it. Erks!

Anyway, I am simply too bored so just wanna type some stuff to get my mind off the yucky feeling I have right now. Hey, I am alright. Don't worry about me.

Sometimes, I wonder... When King david wrote those stuff about his discouragements, anger and failures, how did the pp ard him react? 

He is so brave.

Tuesday

"Don't try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way. " Jas 1:4 (MSG)

"Do not cast away your confidence for it has great rewards." Heb 10:35