Saturday, May 31, 2008

Busy busy busy

Haven blog for a long while... Busy busy busy. And of cos, i was too tired to organise my tots in words everyday.

Now, doing BS class duty. Slacking. And I hope the internet connection dun fail me when I try to upload this blog. Tired man.

Last one month, has been an interesting month. Organising my tots and life to a whole new level. But one thing remain strongly within my heart. It's still my first and foremost desire to serve God full-time.

And I am reali trying to live out what I have been learning thru the wkly sermons in CG and SVC. I wanna be able to be successful in a business and yet serve God full-time. There is a deep desire within my heart for something, but I've never shared it with anyone. I'm just waiting and preparing myself for the right time. And today, i did smthg in relation to that matter. I feel so happy. Where my treasure is, there my heart will oso be. I hope that my love and passion will grow stronger and stronger for it.

Yestrdy, we had a good CGM. But i did badly in the P&W. I thk i was too distracted playing the guitar. I need more practice... Thank God for a CG that loves me and doesn't judge me based on one CGM itself.

I used to be so afraid that my members will 嫌弃我 or the CG for a "imperfect" CGM. But then later, i realise that it's reali the relationship that counts and not the "performance" of the CGL. People reali want to knw how much you care and not how much you knw.

To thk that one day, these bunch of boys are going to grow up, get attached to the gal of their dreams, and ultimately walking down the aisles in marriage, make me feel like a mother that will potentially be in tears of joy for them. Haha. This is so funny.

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Obviously, the internet connection has failed me. So I am continuing with the entry now. :)

The Church Service today was awesome. Bel led in both praise and worship. We sang an old worship song. It was so so good. Felt a longing and yearning in the spirit that draws closer to God. Sometimes, we dun need songs that are so "flowery". And Pst Tan preached a very good msg on Jesus' DNA. Will post the sermon somewhere again.


I just want to make mention something. On Thu, I was staying slightly later in the office. And then I was startled by a voice "Yvonne! You are here!" I looked up and it was Bel. And she looks elated and continued, "Do you have Getting Started Lesson 2 student notes?" I replied in curiosity, "Why you want that for?" "Give BS to someone. But she doesn't have the book." She replied. I said almost in amazement, "You give BS?!" And now she was even more bewildered, "I can't give BS meh?" HAhaha... 

Well, I didn't mean she can't give BS. I actually meant, "you give BS to who? I tot you are in ministry group and there shouldn't be any chance for you to give BS?" Anyway, I didn't explain myself, cos I was already brought away into deep tots.

I remembered that I told someone this before... "Look at Bel. She rose to her calling not bcos she was just focused on ONLY wanting to serve God in her singing talents. The most impt thing is she is revolving herself ard pp and loving pp. She was a CGL and doing pastoral work. Even after she went and focused on the worship team, she always take interest in pp, trying to inspire them and helping them. If you can't touch lives, your talents are basically useless..." 

When I knw that even till today, Bel is still taking interest in pp, i felt so moved in my heart. Aren't we all in this for people? Reali, if we are not touching lives, our talents are useless in God's Kingdom. Today's worship was awesome. Truly, if you want to touch lives with ur talents, you got to be touching pp individually first and then God's anointing will be upon you to touch pp corporately.

Thursday, May 22, 2008

A Servant Heart (Hati Hamba)

Sang this song on Tue during the mtg with Pst YK. It was an awesome mtg. Cried lots. 

__________ 

我永远不会忘记

主你那丰富恩典

如今我在天父怀中

因为你舍下自己

 

你不看我的过去

只是完全接纳我

主你的爱何等伟大

我的心完全融化

 

我亲爱救主

我心何等感谢

你单单在意

我这爱你的心

我愿一生

追求跟随我主

谦卑为你  服事这世界

 

我亲爱救主

我要一生敬拜

在我生命中

你是唯一的爱

毫无保留

我愿献上所有

何等渴慕能为你而活  耶稣我主

________

Cried during QT just now. Felt so lost. Dunno what to do. Feel so angry. Shaken. What went wrong? I was wrong to be too hard. But was I also wrong to love now? I am so heartbroken and I know i'm trying to run away again. God heal my heart and teach me what to do. What shld I do that will be right? Why must I go thru this again? To love, to be heartbroken, and to let go. I am probably too emotional. But I just can't reconcile this. God help me to understand. To love, to forgive and to let go again. 

But why must it be like tat? I'm so heartbroken.

What "Yvonne Chua" Means



What Yvonne Chua Means
You are a free spirit, and you resent anyone who tries to fence you in.
You are unpredictable, adventurous, and always a little surprising.
You may miss out by not settling down, but you're too busy having fun to care.

You are very hyper. You never slow down, even when it's killing you.
You're the type of person who can be a workaholic during the day... and still have the energy to party all night.
Your energy is definitely a magnet for those around you. People are addicted to your vibe.

You are well rounded, with a complete perspective on life.
You are solid and dependable. You are loyal, and people can count on you.
At times, you can be a bit too serious. You tend to put too much pressure on yourself.

You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people.
You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts.
You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals.



You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone.
You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together.
At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together.

You are very open. You communicate well, and you connect with other people easily.
You are a naturally creative person. Ideas just flow from your mind.
A true chameleon, you are many things at different points in your life. You are very adaptable.

You are truly an original person. You have amazing ideas, and the power to carry them out.
Success comes rather easily for you... especially in business and academia.
Some people find you to be selfish and a bit overbearing. You're a strong person.

You are a very lucky person. Things just always seem to go your way.
And because you're so lucky, you don't really have a lot of worries. You just hope for the best in life.
You're sometimes a little guilty of being greedy. Spread your luck around a little to people who need it.

You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection.
You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.
You have the classic "Type A" personality.



































Not feeling well

Something silly happened last wk. Alarm went off. I woke up, got out of my bed. The next thing, i was on the floor in pain. I thk my leg gave way. I dunno how to explain... If my leg was numb and tat's why i fell, then i shouldn't feel pain on my leg but my butt right... Anyway, i was in pain and let out a scream. And vic was shocked out of bed. His super concerned face comforted me for a split second. But i was still in pain. And i thk i was also like half awake or smthg. In my grogginess and pain at the same time, i fell asleep almost immediately when i managed to get back on the bed. All this happened and i dun even remember it after i woke up much later. Until someone asked me how i was feeling cos apparently vic told them i was sick and didn't go for the wedding that morning. Then i recalled all these. As i tot abt it and recalled all these, it feels a bit erm... Scary? 



Haiz. I haven reali recovered after i go back on thyroxine. Every morning it's still a struggle to wake up. Just so tired. Have been late for work, taking cab 3 days out of 4 days. I thk the shanghai trip muz had been too relaxing and endulging on my comfort as well. Haha.


And then yestrdy... I went NUMB in my head when I doing BS duty. And my hands were shivering and my chest was a bit tight. And my left hand had no strength and a bit hard to control for a while. I was a bit shocked. Didn't know what to say. Even after Nick Chor came back to the BS duty after he was away for a while, i was still too shocked to say or share abt it. I just got myself to concentrate on doing smthg so that I wont faint or smthg. I rushed off immediately after the BS duty. Took a bus. And ya, why did i take a bus and not cab? I dunno. I headed to bus stop and got up the bus. SMS Nick Chor to tell him. I think I was in a state of shock or smthg. Then sms Vic. Then on a video on my HP to watch to get my mind concentrating. Haha. 


Vic bought food for me. Got home. That was when I realised I didn't eat any proper meal the whole day. I had no appetite and so i just skipped my meals. So my first meal was at 11pm. But after the dinner, I was feeling much better.  Lesson learnt. Don't skip meals!!! I was reali quite shocked. I had to take great concentration even just to walk straight.


I just pray that everything will be ok.

Friday, May 16, 2008

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Headaches

Since I came back from Shanghai, I have been having headaches. I think it's cos i took medication to delay my menses while I was in Shanghai. After I came back, i had cramps and headaches. SIONG.

I thk I am still experiencing the aftermath. Headaches........... I won't take that medicine to delay my menses again. I just heard from someone that it will actually affect fertility too! GOSH. :x I won't take it again. Then again, I am not supposed to get pregnant till after Oct. 

I just heard a friend is pregnant. I am so happy for her. So exciting. But she is feeling sick becos of it even though it's only 4wks. Will be praying for her. I think i am always very excited to when I knw someone is pregnant. Even if I dun reali knw tat person, i will still feel a moment of excitement for that person. Strange hor. But usually, I dun reali show it la. Else they will probably wonder why I'm so excited for them. Haha.

Whenever, I thk abt myself getting pregnant, actually, i feel a bit sad and tears will well up. I dunno how to put it. It's reali a longing and desire in my heart to be a mother. It's kinda of weird, I knw. But for me, i always long to be a YOUNG mother and have at least 3 children. Haha. But now, i am no longer young... so i hope at least i will have 2 children. Heard all the horrendous thing you got to go through when you give birth after 35 yrs old. Aiyo... I hope I can quickly quickly "seh" (hokkien: give birth). HAHA.

Surely, God will bless me with children.

Friday, May 9, 2008

Shanghai 2008 (Apr 30 - May 7)




Vic & I headed to Shanghai on Apr 30 with Karen, Quanli, Ziying & Andrew. The first day in Shanghai started off as TIRING after the 5-hr flight.

And the next few days were also tiring cos we were out whole day shopping and lazing ard. I took alot of photos. Some are rather hilarious. I will blog more abt it when I have time. Meanwhile, let the photos speak on my behalf. :)

The last day of the trip ended TIRING as well. Took a flight at 0010hrs and reach Singapore at 0525hrs. WAITED till 0600hrs to take the cab without the midnight charge. Had a not so nice exchange with the 1st cab driver and then finally travelled back in the 2nd cab.

Took a 2hr-nap and woke up to do work. But still it was a good 7-day holiday. :)

"One Night in Beijing" Lyrics changed by Vic and Andrew"
One nite in shanghai 我花了许多钱
花在七浦路和又一城
七浦路的衣服很便宜
又一城的比较贵