2007May27-CG fellowship at Airport Mac

2007May6

2007May15-Ldrs Mtg

Many thoughts

Yesterday, I kept crying during svc and even after svc ended. I just kept crying or felt like crying. I felt God touching my heart again and making me so soft in my heart. Not bcos I felt sad that i missed out on anything but I just felt so grateful and honored to be called and part of such great plan in CHC. I am in no way deserving of such a life and purpose but yet He has called and included me in His purpose. Teared again.

I never liked to appear weak to people. God had worked on that when I first came church. Opened up to share and be transparent to my ldr and then slowly to my friends in my emotions. I didn't realise that I had closed up and walked back to my old self.

I still remember that God spoke to me during my EOY CGM abt being vulnerable and i cried almost uncontrollably in the CGM. Felt so so weird and uneasy. But God tugged at my heart to be vulnerable. Went home, disturbed. Ya. Disturbed. I dun understand why i muz look so weak. Couldn't understand yet felt that's what it should be. Now, i kinda understand.

If I can't appear weak, I can't appear strong too. If I can't appear angry with sin and faults, I can't appear happy with successes too. No wonder many times i feel so stupid. When I am actually very happy for someone or smthg but somehow I dunno why I can't express it correctly or fully. I will just keep quiet or not say much. Then I will feel so stupid after that... Ha. I gotta learn to express myself correctly again. Give me time. I will change.

Still got so many things to say. Anyway, I am just so grateful and thankful to God.
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Friend, I wish you were there in svc yestrdy. I am sad and grieved. Yet I trust in God as all things are in His hands and in His timing. I hope that one day we will stand rejoicing together again.

Which style are you?

1. Comtemplative
2. Intellectual
3. Serving
4. Relational
5. Charismatic

Surprisingly, most of my members belong to the serving style... Wow... Good good. I like serving pp. Haha. And also surprisingly, Nick is charismatic style not intellectual. Haha.

I think I am charismatic style. Alot of times i need to feel i am stirred in the spirit, feel the presence of God, loud charismatic style of worship, anointing, goosebumps... in order to feel connected to God.

Haha... A bit flaky smtimes i think. Hahah... But I am not a flako ok... I am rather balanced. Haha.

I kinda feel happy learning abt these 5 styles of connecting to God. I was just pondering in the toilet some time this wk or last about connecting with God. So feel a bit happy in my heart that there are different ways we feel we are most connected with God in. PTL!

Aiyo...

Tian ah... After a great CWPM, I ended my cab ride in such an unhappy way. The driver was ridiculous... Over a super small matter, such as asking him to press "send" on the screen to send the printing of the receipt, he got offended and upset that we tried to teach him what to do. He muz reali have a bad day and a worse day after meeting us. Cos Vic and his bro got upset that the cab driver reacted that way. They looked at his car plate number and got off the cab and then looked at the plate number again from the front.

The driver drove off and then turned back again! He got off the cab and asked us why we muz look at his plate number from the front and not from the back. Ridiculous right. Haiz... It's just a ride. I dun ever have to meet him again, why do i need to antagonize in an arguement. I can just complain online. Dun understand.

How? Anyone want to comment? If it were you, will you antagonize/challenge that bad attitude so upfront?

Cash Deposit Service is Currently NOT Available

Well, that's what I get after 40min of walking & searching for the machine.

Sometimes, it's frustrating that after trying so hard, working so hard, things just don't go the way you like it. Let God be God, and I be von. I don't live for the now but for my future.

A thought went through my mind for a few seconds... I get into a relationship and then into marriage and then into family life because I want to share my future with people I love. So a person without a future, do not have a happy family. Rather, a person that do not have a clear and definite idea about his future, could not get into or develop a longlasting relationship. The bible says without vision man will perish. Perish in his thoughts, his emotions, his life. How true can that be? It is evident in our lives everyday.