7 more hrs

"Hello. Can I speak to Yvonne Chua?" "Yes?" "You have to come to SGH Blk 5 Ward 57 by 7.30am for your admission. Pls do not wear any makeup, jewellries, nail polish. No food & drink from 12mn today."

Felt a bit "serious" after receiving the call while I was in the cinema waiting 881 to start. My op. I still dun feel reali nervous la. Pp ard are quite nice to sms and call me to show concern. But until smthg happened and I was so upset that I cried in the cinema and plus the show was so emotional at the end. I felt like "why like tat?". Suddenly, I was negative and down.

I think I expect alot whenever I open up myself emotionally. I dun usually like to show myself weak but when I do, i expect pp to behave themselves like CHRISTIANS to show kindness and mercy and love. I wanted to protect myself emotionally, but yet i knw there is a need for me to breakthru. And when I do make myself open up, many times I get so disappointed. But I still need to continue to become vulnerable.

I am not trying to become weak. I am trying to become vulnerable. To learn to cry when I'm sad. Be angry when I need to. Be happy when there's a victory. Brag about success and breakthrus. Give honor where honor is due. I just need to align my emotions to what it should be. I am always trying to remind myself to express correctly. Praise pp when I see smthg praiseworthy. I need to be happy when I receive good news and have a breakthru. I should be angry when I should be angry.

Anyway, I pray that God will encourage me in my sleep tonite. Goodnite. Good Morning.