Black

My mood is as black as the sky today. BLACK MOOD.

 

Am I a moody person? MAYBE.

 

Maybe I should just go with my mood. And make decisions based on that? So that I can be officially named an emotionally unstable woman. Ha. At least that's a sure thing. Ha.

 

Ok. What am i moody about then?

-the sky is grey

-it's rainy season

-spent my xmas to do all the last min things

-lousy attitude?

-I wanna go overseas but nothing is settled

-I'm not pregnant yet. Ha.

-Unhappy with myself

-2006 is ending

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.

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Well, whatever it is. It's just me, myself, my silly mood.

 

Forgive me for my black mood. I am trying to smile.

Headache

Ah... An added ailment... HEADACHE.

 

My stomach is still hurting. And now my head is hurting too! Well, blame it on Nick. Oops :P He told me there's Marks & Spencer at Bishan. So with my stomach pain i decided to go to Bishan to "fulfill all righteousness". But after much efforts from Nick, i still couldn't locate Marks & Spencer. O welll... Cinthia was screaming behind Nick: "I stay there. There is no Marks & Spencer in Bishan!!" Hmmm... Ok. Nick, it's your fault that i have headaches. HAHA.  

 

But this headache is bad. My brain almost went numb, i thought i was fainting while in front of my comp... Haha. Sometimes, I wonder if i will suddenly just pass away like tat. CHOY!!! Haha... Wont la huh. I still have a great destiny! HEEEE...

 

O man. Here it comes again.... OOOOOOOOOOOUUCCCCCCH! PAINNNNNNNNNNN... Both in my temple and tummy.

 

I'm collecting SVC forecast now. Many CGs have alot of friends man... PTL! But the rest of us gotta jia you la. Pst says gotta increase 800 per nite. All things are possible in Christ Jesus!!! Hooray!

 

Guys... HIGHWAYS & BYWAYS okie? By all means hao bu hao? Hee.

I am so sick

Pain pain pain thorugh the night...

 

Cant even sleep properly... Seen doc. Ate medicine. It's still so painful... How in the world did gas get into the stomach and cause so much pain. Help...

 

I'm tired. I just wanna sleep. Give me some sleep.

 

I need a vacation. "Make" a baby. Haha.

 

I'm in such pain... Help...

HAHA

HAHA HAHA HAHA HAHA HAHA HAHA

 

I guess laughing is better than crying.

 

_______

 

Yvonne, forget abt these pp. What for? They will never appreciate. Anyway, they are just kids who will never learn to love you back in time. O. Or maybe all along they dun thk that you love them. You are so busy. YOu look too busy to care for them. Too busy for them to approach you. You look so intimidating to them. They dun dare to be themselves when they are before u. You have yourself to blame.

 

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Next wk is Christmas!! Let's go all the way out for friends. To the highways and the by-ways! With God all things are possible! Cmon guys! Let's be urgent for your friends to come to Christ! It's Xmas! Jia you! We can all bring 2-3friends!!! Pst preached about Shamgar. Let's all try! TRY! Maybe some can be in-charge of preparing door gifts! And some in-charge of doing welcome cards and invite cards. How about a little gift exchange thingy? Anyone wants to be in-charge? Small purpose. Any "Shamgar" to avail themselves? 

 

How about prayers! Let's pray for 40,000 this Xmas. Let's pray for our own friends and loved ones to come and be saved. Pray. I wanna see ur loved ones coming to Christ too. Pray for them. Love them. Invite them. Dun be afraid of being rejected. At least you care enough to invite. Just try. Just do it. You can do it! Jia you!!!

 

_______

 

The end awaits me. No. I am walking toward the end. I am going to determine the end. At least I will try. How about you?

 

Colored my hair

Today i went to Gorgeous at Far East Plaza to color and highlight my hair. 2hrs. Woooo... But ok la. I was happy i did my hair even though the highlight isn't obvious enough. Well, it seems i am always a victim of sterotype. I am supposed to look "guai". Next time, i muz emphasize i need it loud. :)

 

Well, walk the whole day with my half-spoilt wedges. My legs are so tired. I couldn't even find one pair of value for money brown wedges. One pair probably is good enough, but it cost $149. From Aldo. O ya, that explains it. O man... But it's quite comfy tho. Let me wish for it now. God may just bring this wish to pass this Xmas. Hee. *HINT* - Pls quickly pray for vision of that pair of shoes to appear before ur eyes now. C'mon, only the willing and OBEDIENT will eat of the fruit of the land. Better obery huh. Hee. Just kidding. :P

 

My Xmas wish list:

Brown wedges (Aldo)

White shoes (Adidas) (Saw it twice 1 mth ago, thereafter it seems to be off the shelf liao)

Blue shimmering eye-liner (Bodyshop)

Silver lip-gloss (Makesup Store)

Compact Make-up brushes set (Bodyshop) (I think i lost mine in a cab last week)

 

10Dec2006

Haiz...

 

I'm just too shocked by the numbers that appeared before my eyes. Too shocked. What should i do to help Pst? I wish i can do more for Pst. I dunno how... 

 

I always feel that i am not capable enough to help Pst effectively. Ya ya ya... all the praises that come to tell me that i am good as a Zsec. But i still feel that i can do much better. I wish i have a bigger capacity to help him not just in his zone's admin. I am feeling frustrated that i am so inadequate and limited.

 

I wish I could be like Victor who can understand Pst so easily. I wish I could be like some of the young leaders that has that "brashness" to just do it. I wish i can be more faithful. I wish i can be ...

 

I dun mind if i no longer lead my own CG but actively help him to supervise CGs and help the leaders. It's not about my kingdom. Being under Pst for so long, all i desire is to reali be able to help him in every way needed. It's not abt ultimately if i have my own subzone or not. Or I become a ZS or not. It's just that i wanna be able to help him effectively.

 

Or maybe, i am not achieving much cos i am not ambitious enough?

 

Well, i guess i just have to pray more. Seek first the KOG & all these things shall be added onto me. Prayer is the key to every success and breakthrough.

 

__________

 

On a positive note... I felt touched during SVC today. God reminding me about how when I was young, my heart goes out to love humanity. Loving pp fervently. I felt like GOd knocking on my heart... "Do you remember how I loved you and how you in turn loved people? The passion that follows..."

 

Thinking on that line, i think i had let the "cares" of this world clouded my vision and blocked up that well of love for people, both saved and unsaved alike. I probably faced the computer too much that i am not relating to people enough. Ha.

 

Hmmm... Gotta pray. Those who seek will find.

 

__________

 

God is a good God. At least I have fulfilled my 5-fig BF and I am VERY THANKFUL for His grace. I believe i'm gonna clear my $10k study loan soon. All things are possible in Christ Jesus!

"NUA"

So tired now. Did nothing much today. No CGM. A bit "eng". I just "nua-ing" the whole day.

 

Woke up at 10am. search internet on tour packages. Then went to my parents' place. Then "nua" until Vic comes after his CG. Then we continue "nua-ing" until my bro and his wife came. Then we ate dinner. Then "nua" again till 8plus then we went home. Then log in to search for tour packages again.

 

I am so sad. Nobody can go overseas with us this time. Pst's son(daryl) is starting his P1 on 3Jan. Then Meiyan dun wanna miss year end CG and SVC. Then Aaron says their budget quite tight. Kel replied "cannot le". Tian ah... So depressing... But nvm la. Just go alone with my hubby la. But the tour package looks very very tedious. It's very cold now. 4degC. Wa. Advice was given to wear MULTIPLE layers of clothes. I can imagine myself now. "BAO BA ZHANG". And the HUGE laugagge i gotta bring. O man...

 

Well, still it's not confirmed yet. See how la. Haha.

 

I believe i will still enjoy the trip. Esp with Vic around it will definitely be great! Hooray! I do hope my HP wont ring during that period. HAHA...

 

If everything goes well, I hope we can have appreciation CG on 26Dec, Tue. Praying that it will be OFF the entire week for the staff. HAHA. Pray la pray la. HEEEEE.