High Tea @ Goodwood Park Hotel

Transparent?

Ya. Wonder why? I was wondering why too...

Went to have high tea with Xiang, Roy and Wenling this afternoon. So "tai-tai", except for the presence of a male counterpart, Roy. Haha. 

Roy said my blog is so "TRANSPARENT" and he seemed rather amused or shld I say amazed by it. But I felt aroused by that comment that I bothered to think of it while on the way home. 

I don't think I always sounded negative leh. And I definitely don't "scold" pp on my blog right. I also dunno what he was trying to say. I thk maybe it's cos I openly share my thoughts bah. And I hope I certainly have not stumbled anyone here. 

You aren't right? 

Hmmm... I am not weird right? Haiz. But blog is blog about yourself right? Aiyo...

Anyway, the main reason why I blog is bcos, I'm a rather short-term memory person. I forget things all the time. And it seems that there is this "disk-defragmenter" or disk-cleaner" that will run in my mind automatically everyday to clear space for other input. Ha! So I better blog it down before I forget. And I am serious, not joking. I reali forget stuff too easily.

As I am in the midst of reading this book, P.S. I Love You, I felt all the more the need to blog down my memories. Felt alot as I read and it seems I'm beginning to love to read... My mind was just so engaged into the story and development that sometimes I would smile to myself or even frown as I read. Sometimes, it's like I wondered off to Ireland into the story. Maybe, I'm Sharon, Holly's good friend. Or I am Holly, whom the story revolves around, abt her coping with the loss of her husband.

Oops sorry. I just like the story too much, that I am wondering off to talk abt it. But it just makes me feel like I needed to remember the memories. Many times, I would imagine if I woke up to a Singapore that has no vehicle, no other pp ard except myself, what would it be like? Maybe I will feel excited about being able to walk AMK Ave 1 without worrying the on-coming vehicles. I can take my time to walk the streets in Orchard and nobody to bother me for deadlines that I have not met. No phone calls. Nobody. But that would be so scary. And what would I remember abt my dear husband, my family and my friends? I would miss the display of their absurd personality and deafening laughters.

Sometimes, I will imagine if Vic is not around anymore, what would I remember about our times together. I am seriously hopeless in remembering stuff. I don't remember any details of any show we watched together before. I don't remember where we had been to before when we were dating. I don't remember which restaurant we went to before he proposed to me. I hardly remember much. That would send a chill down my spine. So scary. It's definitely not bcos I love him little. Well, blame it on that "disk-defragmenter" and the "disk-cleaner" that were installed in me somewhere along the line. HAHA.

Well, that is why I love to blog abt Vic (especially Vic), my family and my friends. I love them and I want to remember the good times we spent together, the grieving moments we had and the sacrifices we've all made for God and this House. 

I wish I have photographic memory to remember everything all the time.

Am I transparent? I hope I can be more transparent actually. :)

Family High Tea for Joanna's birthday

Start:	Jun 28, '08 3:00p
End:	Jun 28, '08 4:30p
Location:	Marriott Hotel

Melissa's Wedding

Start:	Jun 28, '08 2:00p
End:	Jun 28, '08 5:00p
Location:	Singapore Arts Museum

Benedict and Linda's Wedding

Start:

Jul 5, '08

Is it "I am innocent" or "I have loved"?

Num 5: 5-7

"God spoke to Moses: "Tell the People of Israel, when a man or woman commits any sin, the person has broken trust with God, is guilty, and must confess the sin...""

Num 5:11-15

"God spoke to Moses: "Tell the People of Israel, say a man's wife goes off and has an affair, is unfaithful to him by sleeping with another man, but her husband knows nothing about it even she has defiled herself. And then, even though these was no witness and she wasn't caught in the act, feelings of jealousy come over the husband and he suspects that his wife is impure. Even if she is innocent and his jealousy and suspicions are groundless, he is to take his wife to the priest. He must also take an offering of two quarts of barley flour for her. He is to pour no oil on it or mix incense with it because it is a Grain-Offering for jealousy , a Grain-Offering for bringing the guilt out into the open.

A battle broke out within me as I read the passge...

In a state of "shock" as I read this passage on the bus to expo. Just as I was re-reading the passage in disbelief, I felt a tug at my heart and it's like God dropped this in my heart: "When the wife knew that a certain behavior will cause his husband to be in jealousy and yet she would still do it, isn't she guilty? Bcos she has not acted in love toward her husband, the one whom she has vowed to love and to cherish as long as they shall live."

I sat in a daze with these thoughts running through my mind. The "righteous" part of me was justifying: "But if I know I did not sin and my conscience is clear, isn't it good enough?!! I mean, I don't have to feel bad right?! Bcos the fact is I did not sin. So WHY should I feel as if I have sinned. Afterall, I can't control how he feels..." blah blah blah...

Yet, as I pondered over the thought that God had dropped into my heart, I am more and more convinced that it is reali not about whether you are right, it's about whether you have loved.

When I was young, I had always felt that my parents do not understand and was too controlling. I think all children feel that way when they were young. Ha. Well, their intentions may be to protect me and it is good, but their methods had incurred an adverse response from me. They were "guilty" in my eyes, whether or not their intentions were good. It was only when I brought them before God for forgiveness, for me to forgive them, I could not reali reconcile with the anger and ultimately understand their love. 

As we grow up, we also forgot to consider our own ways, resulting in adverse response from others. And, sad to say, we used the same reasoning that "our intentions were good". This is so amusing. I was silently "laughing" at myself when I was thinking abt all these.

Love seeks the best for the other. Even if you are pure in your motives and reali had not sinned against your loved ones, you have already stumbled the faith and trust in your relationships.

Intentions alone do not give us the right of way in doing what we feel is right. The bible says that if even what we eat stumbles our brother, we should choose not to eat it for his sake. What more in the rest of our conduct, and especially toward the one we loved most?

Well, the Word of God always win in a battle.

I have loved.

I miss you...

Haiz... In 6 hours' time, Vic will be leaving house to go to Changi Airport, board the plane, head to Taiwan and stay there for 15 days!!!!

Today, we took leave so that we can spend some time together... Went for a movie, The Incredible Hulk, at Junction 8. I think it's very nice, but he thinks it's predictable. O well, maybe I only needed entertainment not some intelligent show. Then we walked ard and finally ended at a Japanese restaurant in AMK. Ate to our fill and i commented, I was really full...... He said he's happy that I am full. Hmmm... Full = fat stomach!! Haiz.

Anyway, we decided to walked back from AMK hub to Ave 4. That was like 3 bus stops away. I like walking with Vic like tis. Maybe it's under the influence of my parents, I always think that walking with someone I love is a romantic thing. Haha. That was why I made him walked with me from Orchard to Holland when we were still dating many years back. I think that took us 2 hours. HAHAHA...

But it's really the most romantic thing to me. While I was thinking about this romantic thing, standing at the junction waiting for the green man to signal us to walk on, I felt I miss him so much already...

Another 5hr 30min, he will be out of the house to Taiwan.