Saturday, November 10, 2007

once again, back to 7 years ago...

The emotions stirred... It's back to 7 yrs ago again.

In the service, as Pst Ulf spoke and ministered, I was brought back to that incident again. Tears welled up in my eyes and came tingling down my cheeks eventually. I was left so broken and destroyed. My dreams, my vision, my abilities, my calling. Whose voice have I been hearing all these while?

The bible says, your gifts and calling are irrevocable. Do you hear it? Do you believe in it?

Why are u down, flat on the ground? Crushed. Whose voice are you hearing?

Again and again, I have forgiven. I have lifted it up to God. I have. I reali had done it many times. I dun hate the ones involved. But yet the words haunted me again and again. I am afraid. I had ran away from myself. I have lost my strength. I stopped at wherever and remained there. Where do I go from here? I had sunk into the pitch dark depression.

I was left broken and crushed. Feels so real, even now.

"He left Judea and departed again to Galilee. But He needed to go through Samaria."
- Jn 4:3-4

He did it for that one woman. He will do it for you. He will rescue you.

Surely, my gifts and calling are irrevocable...

3 comments:

Meitong Shen said...

Amen. :)

olivia lau said...

Von.. can I say? As I read your blog.. I could feel my goosebumps coming out... In the positive way! Your blog "speaks" straight from your heart...thanks for sharing personal stuff with us... I really believe that too... Rom 11:29 stands for U... U keep pressing on.. So you can show others the same way to walk!!

Cheryl Hiew said...

this cry is so familiar .... erm ... we are never left alone ....thanks for everything.