I am tired. Tired of doing the same things for the last 9yrs. I admit that I reali grew alot and learnt alot in this 9yrs. I dislike admin but i'm glad I overcome that some yrs back and started to learn and breakthrough. Learnt different ways of looking at things, including conflicts/tension at work & emotions displayed by different ones. I have definitely grown wiser and calmer. Learnt that I need to find solutions instead of complaining. You solve that problem and then that's truly more impt than grumbling and achieving nothing. Well, that earned me the title "Excel Queen" among the ZSecs. Thanks, I gladly receive that compliment as a little pat on my shoulder for a long journey that waits ahead.
I need to move on. That's the tricky part. Move on to what? I am currently doing admin for 3 zones (YK, VIC, KS) which adds up to 1800 pp. I don't even hv time to even think abt how to improve things in the zone. Just keying in and submitting stuff. I dun like the feeling of being paid to do smthg that even a student can do. I need to thk and improve things. If things are not progressive, i feel frustrated. I don't need more zones and more work. I need more satisfaction. I wonder would anyone even bother to thk for me what kind of satisfaction i would hv doing all these for the last 9yrs. I need progression.
Once again at a juncture of decisions. I am tired. I hope i can sleep away the frustrations but I doubt so. Yet, I know I still desire to serve God here. It's still the greatest honor. Simple things like the feeling I get sitting there marking BS attendance and smiling at each one. Maybe I shld just sit in at the reception and try feeling close again to the people and not buried in stacks of papers and admin.
Directions, I pray. I need to move on. Progressions, I reali reali need.
7 comments:
Yvonne, I understand what you mean & sympathies yr current frustration. It is exasperating! Having to do all these routines for nine solid years... but I doubt a student can have the same capacity like you. I doubt if anyone is willing to handle what you are coping. You know all along, what you are doing is not a preference but a conviction. You know that whatever decision you made, is going to influence those people whom you work with, whom you work for...
Having said that, pray for God's wisdom to improve your current working style or workload. Working intelligently & efficient in anyway, to improve the current system in place. Ideas? Share it.... discuss and see if it is feasible. CMS is born out of Zone Secs frustrations too... Tension is also a doorway to innovation.
Last but not least, consider the environment and your colleagues whom you collaborate with. Are there a better place than this? If yes, perhaps you should reconsider your option.
Thanks for being truthful!!! This is what we all need to know....
Von,understand how you are feeling.....lack of job satisfaction is a very "real" problem that people encountered..Pray about it lor..maybe you really need a transfer to do some other things but I also know that you really want to serve Pst YK and be of good help to him in admin matters, an area that he really needs..ya....jiayou...God has given you a vision and a dream..maybe it's time that you need to step out and pursue it.
I will be praying for you, believing with you and standing by you in whatever you think and decide in the future. Yet at this moment, you are of a person greatly admired by me, and I'm sure by many in the zones. Every week, there are 2 dependable constants in admin, CMS and Yvonne! I'm not saying you're like a computer, but whenever I need help, I know you're as dependable, or even more than any computer. You help people in ways that we don't even know.
Thanks all. I am ok. Pls dun get it wrong. I am not angry with the zone or the ldrs. It's just a personal thing that I feel unhappy with where I am and what I am doing. Never did regret serving God here. Just need direction for the next phase of my life and ministry.
totally understood-ed (: be praying for u! directions, growth, progression..
jia you. thanks for all you have done. (:
Thanks for the affirmations. :)
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